Describe the situation plainly. Who do you need to influence, and what are you trying to achieve? Don't worry about framing it perfectly yet.
Describe the situation
Step 02 of 08
What's in it for you?
Be honest with yourself about your stake in this. What do you gain if it goes well? What are you trying to avoid? Understanding your own motivations clearly will help you later.
Your interests and motivations
Step 03 of 08
What's in it for them?
Shift your perspective entirely. What does this situation look like from their position? What pressures are they under? What would make this an easy yes for them — and what makes it harder?
Their perspective, pressures and interests
Step 04 of 08
Restate the challenge
Having thought about both sides, revisit how you'd describe the situation. Has your framing shifted? A good restatement acknowledges both sets of interests.
You originally said
—
Restate it now
Step 05 of 08
Can they legitimately say no?
Is this genuinely their decision to make? If they have real autonomy here, your approach needs to respect that — and account for it.
Yes
It's their call to make
No
The decision isn't really theirs
Worth noting
They have genuine autonomy here. Approaches that push past that — whether through pressure, authority, or persistence — tend to produce compliance without commitment. Think about what would make them want to say yes, not just what would make it hard for them to say no.
Worth noting
If this isn't really their decision, it's worth asking whether you're talking to the right person, or whether your energy is better spent elsewhere. If you still need their cooperation, consider what it would take to make them a willing participant rather than someone who has to comply.
Step 06 of 08
Do they already want to say yes?
Are you pushing on an open door, or is there real resistance? This shapes whether you need to persuade at all — or whether your job is simply to make it easy for them to act on what they already believe.
Yes
They're already on board, broadly
Not yet
There's genuine resistance or uncertainty
Worth noting
If they're already inclined to agree, your main task is removing friction — making it easy to act, reducing the cost of saying yes, and giving them a way to commit that works for them. Over-persuading someone who's already persuaded can backfire.
Worth noting
Where there's real resistance, asserting your position harder rarely helps. This is where pull techniques tend to work better — asking questions that help them think it through themselves, or connecting the ask to something they already care about.
Step 07 of 08
Tactics
Think through how you'll approach this. Use the questions below as prompts — you don't need to answer all of them, but sit with any that feel uncomfortable.
Approach — push or pull?
Are you planning to lead with your own position, or with questions that help them think it through? Which is more likely to land given what you know about them?
Is there a version of this where you don't argue your case at all — where the right question does more work than any argument?
What would it look like to connect this to something they've already said they care about?
The relationship
Have you done anything useful for this person recently — shared knowledge, solved a problem, made their life easier? If not, is there something you could do before you ask for anything?
Do they see you as credible on this topic? If not, who does — and could that person be involved?
Are there others in their world who think the same way you do? Could you surface that without it feeling like pressure?
Timing and setting
When is this person most receptive — and is this conversation happening at that moment, or at a moment of convenience to you?
Is a formal conversation the right format, or would something more informal work better?
Is there a natural moment coming up — a review, a decision point, a quieter period — that would be a better time to raise this?
The ask itself
What's the smallest version of yes that would still move things forward? Is there a way to start there rather than asking for everything at once?
Are you genuinely trying to help them, or are you trying to get what you want? If it's the latter — is there a version of this that's better for them too?
If this doesn't work, what does that tell you? Is there something you haven't understood yet about their situation?
What
When
How
Step 08 of 08
What will you do right now?
Not this week. Not when the time is right. What's the one thing you can do today — however small — to move this forward?